Why the English language is so hard to learn:

Read this at your leisure

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that he had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant,

No ham in hamburger,

No apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren’t invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that

Quicksand can work slowly

Boxing rings are square

A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And…if the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, two geese; so why one moose but not two meese?

If teachers taught, why not preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

…

why do people recite at a play but play at a recital?

why is it you ship by truck, but send cargo by ship?

why do people have noses that run, and feet that smell?

why is a slim chance and a fat chance mean the same, whereas, a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which

your house can burn as it burns down

you can fill in a form by filling it out

an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Live in harmony,

Bharat Nerkar Close